Monday, November 28, 2005
Love or Understanding…
Caution: slightly philosophical
Mood: arbit thinking
It was long time I had a good chat with Baba… after the regular updates, we came down to a topic never discussed in detail before. Well, it was related to my getting “settled” in life… the big Qs was who would be the unfortunate one ;-) … then the topic turned to the survival of marriages and relationships… specially in case of love! Past few years I have seen a lot of love marriages and a few arranged ones too. So far, the marriages have been successful; however, the relationships (love) before marriages have been taking a toll lately. Few points which we pondered upon were… are we having too many expectation from a relationship based from love… how much of the mutual understanding is there in such relationships… why was there lack of commitment and more of taken for granted stands… More than anything else, we found that it was more of understanding than love that was required for a lasting relationship. Even if there is no love between two, mutual understanding between each other would enable a lasting relationship… however, the reverse doesn’t hold to true. Most people assume that they have understanding if they are in love… well the recent statistics doesn’t show that! (these stats are very personal and not surveyed).
Hmm… the Qs remains… should I marry someone whom I love (well so far I am (un)lucky), or someone who understands me (mutual understanding) or someone who is selected by parents… and so far … to me it’s the last option. I do have a few friends, with whom I have good understanding, but then we also know why we can’t get together and we agree to understand each other that way and be friends forever.
Mood: arbit thinking
It was long time I had a good chat with Baba… after the regular updates, we came down to a topic never discussed in detail before. Well, it was related to my getting “settled” in life… the big Qs was who would be the unfortunate one ;-) … then the topic turned to the survival of marriages and relationships… specially in case of love! Past few years I have seen a lot of love marriages and a few arranged ones too. So far, the marriages have been successful; however, the relationships (love) before marriages have been taking a toll lately. Few points which we pondered upon were… are we having too many expectation from a relationship based from love… how much of the mutual understanding is there in such relationships… why was there lack of commitment and more of taken for granted stands… More than anything else, we found that it was more of understanding than love that was required for a lasting relationship. Even if there is no love between two, mutual understanding between each other would enable a lasting relationship… however, the reverse doesn’t hold to true. Most people assume that they have understanding if they are in love… well the recent statistics doesn’t show that! (these stats are very personal and not surveyed).
Hmm… the Qs remains… should I marry someone whom I love (well so far I am (un)lucky), or someone who understands me (mutual understanding) or someone who is selected by parents… and so far … to me it’s the last option. I do have a few friends, with whom I have good understanding, but then we also know why we can’t get together and we agree to understand each other that way and be friends forever.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Hot & Spicy
Finally I made my lazy bum out of house and saw Garam Masala. A good comedy … with Paresh Rawal at his best… he was simply too good. Akki also reminded me of Hera Pheri… rajpal yadav was also in his form…
I wasn’t sure of getting a ticket… leave alone a balcony… however… I was lucky to get balcony. The moment akki and john abs make their entry… huge shrieks came from my back … when turned to see … it was gang of college girl along with few others (seemingly sitting with their boyfriends)… I just muttered Uh...OH!
Anyway… till the opening song played on I had to bare that noise…
The chicks (in the movie) were HOT… one of them was cool too… ;) alas those shrieking voices should have been somewhere near … :D
But thankfully the focus was not on them… and that made the movie watch-able …
Overall … a good comedy…
I wasn’t sure of getting a ticket… leave alone a balcony… however… I was lucky to get balcony. The moment akki and john abs make their entry… huge shrieks came from my back … when turned to see … it was gang of college girl along with few others (seemingly sitting with their boyfriends)… I just muttered Uh...OH!
Anyway… till the opening song played on I had to bare that noise…
The chicks (in the movie) were HOT… one of them was cool too… ;) alas those shrieking voices should have been somewhere near … :D
But thankfully the focus was not on them… and that made the movie watch-able …
Overall … a good comedy…
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Fading festivities of lights …
I don’t know if I am the only one who’s feeling this … I was home this diwali and it couldn’t have been better place to be at that time… I reached on dhanteras evening… it was a long journey…
I still remember on dhanteras, entire market used to be decorated and lit up with variety of lights and the speakers used to shout the religious / bhakti songs… the traffic were restricted to pedestrians only … the shops used to be packed with people… all sorts of people… from kids to grannies… in best of their dresses … and most of all… with a cheerful and happy festive mood … this time it was different however…
When I joined dad with the evening ‘official’ shopping (Lakshmi-Ganesh idols and silver coins)… the roads were filled with trash… there were a bit too many vendors on street … however, the shops were relatively empty … there were folks on the streets … but with a gloomy outlook … not many kids around… no lightings… the speakers were shouting of local ads … (one of the ads were of coaching instts for class X and XII… heights of commercialization) … the lightings at the top of houses were also not so many… the bursting of crackers were not there … almost … it was never such emptiness…
The next days were not too different… the sound of crackers slowly were beginning to be heard… but again sporadic… however, the Diwali day was still better… people on the streets were more decked up… and sweet shops were having tough time handling customers…
There are two things that came up prominence reasons for the lack of excitement of the festival… one of the major factor was the prominence of nuclear families…(even in the small town like mine) … most of these families have there sons/daughters out of home… resulting in virtually ‘no families’ … and celebration without family has actually no meaning… moreover, if we look into our pasts… the festivities were so munch enjoyed when there were so many people around… today that’s not there… 4-5 members in a house… and a few friends… so the amount of enjoyment anyways reduces… further… these families are so busy in their daily life that these festivals just offer simply a means of another holiday….
Another factor which came upfront was easy access to short term money… most of our earlier shopping used to happen over diwali (or similar festival)… and the companies also ran a lot of promotion… people used to save to buy house holds /white goods… however, with today’s easy access to money … courtesy easy loans and other financial schemes… people just don’t wait for diwali to come… they shop as and when they find a need … resulting in a huge amount of debt … specially for a salaried class… the savings becomes nil by the time he finishes of the last monthly due… and therefore… diwali is meaningless as he just don’t have enough to spend a dime extra… so low turnouts on the streets too… just a ceremonial touch with small section of crackers… (with due respect to our environmentalists… we don’t have too many of that too)…
I hope at least this ceremonial stuff continues… as I fear these festivities will disappear by the time next few generations comes…
I still remember on dhanteras, entire market used to be decorated and lit up with variety of lights and the speakers used to shout the religious / bhakti songs… the traffic were restricted to pedestrians only … the shops used to be packed with people… all sorts of people… from kids to grannies… in best of their dresses … and most of all… with a cheerful and happy festive mood … this time it was different however…
When I joined dad with the evening ‘official’ shopping (Lakshmi-Ganesh idols and silver coins)… the roads were filled with trash… there were a bit too many vendors on street … however, the shops were relatively empty … there were folks on the streets … but with a gloomy outlook … not many kids around… no lightings… the speakers were shouting of local ads … (one of the ads were of coaching instts for class X and XII… heights of commercialization) … the lightings at the top of houses were also not so many… the bursting of crackers were not there … almost … it was never such emptiness…
The next days were not too different… the sound of crackers slowly were beginning to be heard… but again sporadic… however, the Diwali day was still better… people on the streets were more decked up… and sweet shops were having tough time handling customers…
There are two things that came up prominence reasons for the lack of excitement of the festival… one of the major factor was the prominence of nuclear families…(even in the small town like mine) … most of these families have there sons/daughters out of home… resulting in virtually ‘no families’ … and celebration without family has actually no meaning… moreover, if we look into our pasts… the festivities were so munch enjoyed when there were so many people around… today that’s not there… 4-5 members in a house… and a few friends… so the amount of enjoyment anyways reduces… further… these families are so busy in their daily life that these festivals just offer simply a means of another holiday….
Another factor which came upfront was easy access to short term money… most of our earlier shopping used to happen over diwali (or similar festival)… and the companies also ran a lot of promotion… people used to save to buy house holds /white goods… however, with today’s easy access to money … courtesy easy loans and other financial schemes… people just don’t wait for diwali to come… they shop as and when they find a need … resulting in a huge amount of debt … specially for a salaried class… the savings becomes nil by the time he finishes of the last monthly due… and therefore… diwali is meaningless as he just don’t have enough to spend a dime extra… so low turnouts on the streets too… just a ceremonial touch with small section of crackers… (with due respect to our environmentalists… we don’t have too many of that too)…
I hope at least this ceremonial stuff continues… as I fear these festivities will disappear by the time next few generations comes…
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