chaotic moments

We haven’t finished reading Tata’s M&A with Ford’s JLR – there is another kind of M&A happened that shook India, if not the world …

D-Company taken over by Lashkar

It was on the lunch table we shared some of the lighter moments with the headline and associating with the management jargons …

• The VC has now joined hands with the Execution Entity … sophistication joins hands with crude methods … technology with core processes … revenge takers with fundamentalism … business with religion …
• Their Balance Sheet would include the assets as details of total arms and ammunitions acquired
• The ROI would be again total number of attacks/killings with number of ammunitions/ bombs bought
• Growth rate would be money accumulated in form of vasuli (regular D-Co stuff) and abductions in addition to the revenue generated through fake currency and other donations across the globe
• The Hit Rate would be defined as number of killings per attack
• The Goals & Objectives would list out number of bombings/ infiltrations/ mass killings/ suicide bomb squad generation/ … Appraisal will be done on a regular intervals …
• The Core Function of HR would be recruitment, training and motivation – to become human bombs and mass killings – incentives to be defined accordingly
• The best way to manage Pool/Bench – if pool increases – train them to be human bombs - to be deployed anywhere anytime … there will always be a vacancy …
• Plenty of Onsite Opportunities

Feel free to add similar musings …

# posted by chaos @ 4:39 PM