Tuesday, January 03, 2012
Dress Code...
I’ll start by stating an old phrase: When in Rome, Act like a Roman (or Do as Romans do) …
In the recent few years, we have seen an outrage on women’s attire … what should they wear and not wear … the slut walk … political / self deployed moral policing … wardrobes resulting in rapes! … etc … etc …
I believe, women should wear something they feel good in … however, there is a catch.
But before that… I’d like to state some thing very trivial … which most of the outspoken / shouting generation of women confuse with … is that their wardrobes results in rape … the fact is IT DOES NOT … the rapist … doesn’t look what you are wearing … they’ll rape you if they want to … their mindset is completely different …
SO! The big question is why this outrage on dress code … well to begin with … understand the cultural aspects of the location you are in … by cultural aspects, I also mean weather it is acceptable to wear anything or is there any specific dress code … for e.g. in some of the countries in mid-east … wearing burka is must for ladies venturing outside of their home! … (imagine any girl ventured in her bikinis there!)
In India, the current culture is for women (and men) to wear appropriately – especially when they are in public. Even though there is a transformation within the social structure, it is still far from reaching a culture like US! (where in you can wear whatever you want and any time or place) … Unfortunately (and sadly, but true) India is a place which is sexually starved (the kamasutra is ancient and Indians are the ones who probably don’t follow it!) … unlike US/Europe, we are bound to a family environment till we get married … (well most often or a normal case) … the opportunity to explore and experiment (all aspects) is fairly low during the teens/ adolescent age… further to the fact is that girls are ill-educated about sex (which is still considered a taboo if you want to discuss in public) … to make matter worse, the movies (or TV serials) has created nuisance in all respects of understanding and having relationships … I can give enough examples of weird cases … for instance … a guy follows and does weird and stupid acts and girl gets pataofied … Bad guy wants to creates his fear … he molests/ rapes the girls … etc …etc … Thing to take a note is that we live in a social framework which educates us that men are superior and they have right to force on women… This is what I call as culture… (PS: we can't bring in change overnight to a society with population of a billion) another important Qs … who created these rules … well our ancestors did … and it’s not that they have been constant like that … they have changed as the time has progressed … but then it’s a societal change …. Consider this … a decade ago, if a movie wanted to show a steamy sex scene, they’ll show milk boiling … or two flowers interacting … today … they practically show every little move … it’s a question of acceptance of the change … has this been drastic … absolutely not … it has been gradual … I believe, the change in thought process of women wardrobe would also gain acceptance in some time … also note that the Indian is a male centric society / culture and any change that suites the male ego would have faster response than otherwise…
Having said that, tt’s not that everywhere in India it’s like this only… well you visit a decent pub / high society parties … you’ll see all … women wearing (comfortably) in the dress they want to be in … but at the same time … if they wear the same dress in the local mohalla … which is not culturally updated … it’ll create a problem …
Now … what is this problem I am talking about … Well … to begin with, they don’t start raping them as they see …. They’ll start with what we call as eve-teasing … and may extend to molestation (which is also very scary!) and this is not limited to any time of the day … this is applicable almost everywhere … please note that rape is different and (if it does) happens much later stage, and that too when the guy is totally gone nut case … and then you can’t help him even if would be wearing a burka! … (it really takes a lot of guts for a guy to rape!) … molestation on the other hand is little different … one of the biggest reason for this is our judicial and policing system … what would you complain … what’s the proof!! … who did … what did he do … and so many similar and uncomfortable questions …
Another aspect of the Indian society / culture is that most of the “bad” activities (read illegal) happens under the covers of darkness / late nights … and most of the people who do that are goons … or have at least some power (money, muscle, of gun!). Again, based on the cultural aspects, it would be advisable for women … not to venture alone or very small groups which can’t defend themselves (physically)!
To cut short … I am not a moral police or anything like … in fact, I believe in complete freedom to women on what they wear / not wear … however, my thoughts are very simple… we live in a societal framework … and there are some fundamental flaws within each of these framework … we need to understand and accept those … and rather than taking head-on, we need to create and develop and environment which aligns to our thought process … till then it’s better to be safe than sorry!
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Well, you ended it right. Better safe than sorry! All these "rights" groups immediately prowl on anyone who says that women should be dressed appropriately... and start calling them names and that they are victim blaming... but what they dont understand is.. there are times when women can avoid molestation/rape by being cautious and properly dressed.
In an ideal world, men shouldnt get tempted to even whistle at a women dressed in even a bikini on MG Road... because women has a right to wear whatever they feel comfortable in... but then, this is not an ideal world we live in. We should not be locking our homes when we go out, in an ideal world.. but we do lock it.. sometimes with two locks.. because it is better safe than sorry!
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In an ideal world, men shouldnt get tempted to even whistle at a women dressed in even a bikini on MG Road... because women has a right to wear whatever they feel comfortable in... but then, this is not an ideal world we live in. We should not be locking our homes when we go out, in an ideal world.. but we do lock it.. sometimes with two locks.. because it is better safe than sorry!
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: 3/1/12 2:30 PM
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